How to stop giving your energy and power away.

by Erika Verhoeven


For many of us, our default state is being of service, and at some stage, we have given so much, that there is nothing more left. In this blog post, I’d like to address why we give so much of our energy away and what we can do to turn that ‘program’ around and get our power back.

Healers, coaches and other health care professionals, are often drawn to their profession after they’ve hired ‘one of us’.

Something needed to get healed, transformed and dealt with. And after a profound change we were so inspired that we wanted to learn more and more, and ultimately ‘became the practitioner’.

Over the years, working in our field of expertise, the field that we know so well and love and keep learning about, we progressively identify more with ‘being that field’.

We love to give and share and help.

The lines of our profession (where we get paid) and our human expression (where we get to play and live our own life) blur.

  • Do you often catch yourself giving (solicited or unsolicited) friendly advice?
  • Do people love to share their issues with you?
  • Did you recently help someone, giving up the time you scheduled ‘free’ for yourself?
  • And do you feel a bit shitty with yourself, as you really did know better?

These are some of the reasons why you can ultimately find yourself worn out, unhappy, exhausted and nearly ‘done’ in your business or job.

We know perfectly well that there needs to be an equal energy exchange in giving and receiving. But somewhere along the way, our energy output has become greater than our energy input.

When clients come to me for help or to recover from burnout I take them on a journey of discovery to find out in what areas exactly they have ‘thin boundaries’ and ‘leak’ the most.

  • Often they have subconscious leaks: these can be past life contracts, for example. We feel we still need to live up to certain (self-imposed) expectations.
  • Sometimes there is still ancestral energy attached: loved ones that still want some of our attention.
  • And then there are our ‘early life’ beliefs and vows – we created the perfect circumstances to bring our past with us so we can continue working through and learning from it.

We identified with the values that our parents, carers and teachers held, without discerning if they were holding any truth for us. Without determining if they were aligned with who we, as unique individuals, are and if they are serving us best in what we are here uniquely to express.

These energy leaks, ancestral energies and outdated beliefs and vows all interfere with having a strong sense of who we really are. If we don’t know who we really are, we don’t know where our energy (we) begin and ends, and therefore we can’t be clear on strong and healthy boundaries.

If we don’t know who we really are it is also hard to determine our unique way of serving the world (or our clients).

After healing these ‘unseen’ issues, and restoring healthy boundaries, the next step is to bring these new insights into practical awareness.

Now we know better who we are, we can start to look at our current ‘business model’ and decide if this is still aligned with our highest expression of ourselves. 

  • How can we work in a way that gives us energy?
  • How can we be powerful examples for the people around us so they can learn from us if they choose (instead of ‘fixing’ them)?
  • How many hours do we want to be of service to others and how many hours are we actually going to live the life that we dream of?
  • How are we making sure we get the support we deserve on our own path of growth and awareness?

Doesn’t this sound more supportive to you? Isn’t this a healthier way of being of support to others? 

I hope that this article has helped you to feel into how your energy patterns have caused you to give too much and how healing them and creating more awareness around it actually gives more to your community without you giving your energy and power away.


Would you like to find out about how I support people in letting go of their outdated patterns, embracing who they are at the level of the Soul, and creating a life where they express their uniqueness in abundance and freedom?  CLICK HERE to learn about how I can partner with you on your transformational journey.

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