How to let go of society’s expectations (and pursue what you really want)

by Erika Verhoeven


Do you want to know how to let go of society’s unrelenting demands and expectations so you can pursue what you really want? Here’s the million-dollar question: how can we be immune to whatever the world makes us believe we need to have and should do? If you would like to know how you can have more sovereignty around this matter, I have a few points for you to contemplate.

Who are you?

I believe the more you are in touch with who you really are and who you are not, the more you will be able to decipher how you would like to spend your time and your money. With the relentless bombarding of ads that follow you around, your attention, money, and time are being held hostage. You need to reclaim these areas of your life and that needs a firm grounding in who you are.

Start with asking yourself a few questions, and write them down:

  • Who am I really?
  • What are my values?
  • What is super important to me regarding how:
    • I spend my time?
    • Whom with?
    • I spend my money?
    • I surround myself within my home?


Get clear about this as it will help you to make a more conscious decision when another offer is being presented. Go back to your answers and ask yourself if you really want or need this. Will it make your life ‘richer’ according to your values?

Stop being stalked

Wherever you can: switch off the permission for your data to be shared. Switch off all your notification bells. Delete accounts and mailing lists that you are not interested in. Unfriend all the people that you have never met – their lives should not be an unconscious example of yours. And visa versa. Your attention, money, and time are worth to be spent on what you consciously decide. Every moment.

Yes: let go…

Have you ever gone camping? And loved that everything you needed was right there and nothing else. (If you hate camping you might have had a similar experience sipping cocktails from your hotel balcony overlooking the laguna.)
How simple life can be. Of course: it was nice to come home and have an actual closet to hang your clothes, but still…

If you are able to rehome all the stuff that you don’t need, you will still be left with everything you (sort of) need. And better: you know where to find it. Downsizing is great for this exercise!

If you end up with rooms, closets, and drawers that are empty (yeah!) and you want to avoid filling them up, designate a specific purpose for these places. Nothing else is allowed in! How about having a zen-meditation room? An indoor garden where you grow herbs. Or an empty garage for a yoga, workout, or painting studio? A drawer just for your incense, oils, and tarot cards. Everything that is important can have a place where you can submerge in the experience. Yóur experience. And your home becomes an expression of you and how yóu want to live your life.

The best thing is, that from now on, you will know that ‘you have everything you need and more’ and this will become your new mantra when temptations pop up.

Avoiding temptation

Speaking about that: avoid shopping malls. If you need something, be prepared. Use the entrance nearest to your destination, know exactly what you need, put your blinkers on and use your mantra. Retrain yourself. You can do it.


If you have not seen the documentary ‘Minimalism’ I highly recommend it. It is a great start to changing your mindset.

Love yourself

Love yourself enough to only surround yourself with beautiful and functional items. Things that you enjoy seeing and using. You are working hard and you are allowed to pluck the fruits of your labour.

The same goes for time: spend your time with people that make you happy and smile, with nature and animals, with a good book, a good movie. Do what you love. And doing nothing now and then is amazing for your health.

You get the picture

If you have been bombarded with external demands on what you need, should do, have to do, have to be part of, aspire, buy, invest in, learn…. the list goes on …. then the simple steps in this article will get you on the way to reclaiming your life, time, energy and money.

But by all means: please make up your own mind: don’t let me dictate what you should do either!


Would you like to find out about how I support people in letting go of their outdated patterns, embracing who they are at the level of the Soul, and creating a life where they express their uniqueness in abundance and freedom?  CLICK HERE to learn about how I can partner with you on your transformational journey.

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